Simply put, I'm mental

So it's never a good point in your training season when you find yourself sitting on your couch with a glass of Pinot and a slice of pizza in your hand just staring at your bike. 

What led to this.......simply put, I am mental.

There is some switch in my head that goes on when I approach Big Red (the bike) that turns me into a kind of a wimp.  And I absolutely one hundred percent hate being afraid of things!  But I get on the bike and I am yellow with cowardice. 

It's certainly not for lack of support.  I have great friends who cycle and they are encouraging (many thanks to Kevin C., the other Mike F. and Cheryl for their words of support).  I have a whole team to train with for crying out loud.  I have great coaches, including Mike F. who offers to ride with me during the week to help me.  I have a husband who after working from 5 a.m. to 5 p.m. still helped me put together my new trainer. 

Yet I still am jittery thinking about my 45 miler this weekend.  I am trying very hard to get over it.  I'm thinking about the amazing people I know that have met the much scarier task of chemotherapy.  I think about Michael Patrick and how he underwent a bone marrow transplant before the age of 6.  I think about Gabby and how she sought out treatment after treatment despite the side effects and pain involved.  I think about Rox and how she ran a marathon less than a year after treatment ended.  I understand that my fears are silly, but still they are mine. 

I hope to get over them soon.  I would try to hop on tonight and practice but I don't want to be the first TNT participant to have to drop for injuring herself while riding a bike trainer after two glasses of wine.

Please my friends, I could use some encouragement!  A nice note, a donation to the cause....heck, I'll even take pity at this point.  :-)

Thank you for your time!

A Mighty Wind and a Day of Redemption

I meant to write last weekend about my cycling experience but quite frankly, I was exhausted, and then discouraged and then I just blocked it out completely.  :-)

Riding through Davidson with some wicked wind gusts and more experienced cyclists was the toughest thing I've done this year.  I'll admit, I did the walk of shame up one hill after mixing up my gears and I was taken on the remedial route near the end.  I'll also admit that I almost cried.  I'm still not clipping into the pedals, cars make me nervous and I look like a bug-eyed, terrified fool going down hills.  So much so that I'm going to put googly eyes on my helmet for the big day!

Many many thanks to the cyclists that joined our alumni coach Missy for the ride - they were amazingly patient and eager to help and if I could remember any of their names, I would thank them personally.  My spirits were lifted a bit when everyone told me that I was actually moving much faster than I thought I was (16 mph!) and I remembered to buy padded shorts so there were no tears of pain on this ride! 

Yay for padded pants!! 

The wind itself was the biggest challenge.  I tell it like a tall tale..."the wind was angry that day my friend..."  My concentration was split between trying to stay upright and trying to figure out gears.  At one point though, I was actually blown off the road. 

Thank goodness for having a Team!!  I laughed at the irony of being a former staff member who spent a lot of time telling people "oh don't worry about being last or behind....you're just a beginner!," and now I'm a participant again getting really ticked off that I'm last and way behind.  Grrr......
But at every rest stop, there were encouraging words and at the end, my team was there waiting and we had a very nice post-race carb fest at the Egg in Davidson.  Thank you!!! 

So this week was rough - busy, off-sleeping pattern and just downright unmotivated.  Sharon and I struggled through our short runs and my times on the bike were not all that inspiring.  So I went into today's Corporate Cup 5k with a little trepidation.  We were going to run it and then run the 5 miles back to my house to get our 8 miler in.  I was a little stressed last night and then decided to handle it with muscle memory - I figure if my legs could hit a stride and stay in that stride, so could my brain.

So I put myself in run mode, got some sleep and this morning we had a great 5k!

I ran into the Tri team and got to see some of my favorite people (Kevin, Tricia & Justin) and super alumni Cheryl!  After running a half-marathon, marathon and completing the Tahoe century ride, I would have thought Cheryl was well over the nerves but she was terrified of the 5k this morning.  Sharon & I hung with her and she rocked it out - even kicked it into high gear hitting the finish!  

It was a good course with lots of energy at the starting/finish area.  Only complaints would be that the t-shirts were kind of lacking in design (but I can always use them to paint in) and that they are still using timing chips and I've become quite fond of the timing tags. 

Sharon and I had a nice run from uptown back to the house and enjoyed the brief moments that were wind-free and sunshine-y.  And we rocked out a 11.20 minute mile so REDEMPTION!  I feel better about myself after a week of weak runs and un-inspired cycling. 

Maybe my groove is returning!

Stay tuned....I'll let you know....

Our post-race pic trying to get the pups to pose - Porter wants nothing but a tummy rub!

Our Traditional Snakebite yumminess for every race we run!!  Check out the glasses - they were the wedding favors from Sharon's wedding.  :-)

Being Uncomfortable & Why It's Okay

And 20 days later, here's an update for you.....while I haven't been writing, I have definitely been training!

Sharon & I ran our first 5k together two Saturdays ago with the goal of getting our PRs.  It was the Cupids Cup 5k in Dilworth and the course is one we're familiar with.  I lined up at the start line with Sharon, knowing that I wasn't going to keep up with her due to lack of sleep and an off-eating schedule, but I was going to push her through that tough 2nd mile with it's sneaky hills. 

We were off!  And honestly I wanted to stop running halfway up the 1st hill - it was the hardest I had pushed myself to run and normally I'm fine pushing as fast as I can go and stopping the minute I got uncomfortable.  I had already talked myself into stopping and then the thought came to mind: "When you push yourself, it's not supposed to be comfortable."  Most of you may already know this but it's something I had forgotten.  And once it stuck, I was keeping up with Sharon and even out-pacing her for a bit. 

A nasty cramp had me walking for about 20 seconds on the 3rd mile while Sharon took off for the finish line.  She crossed in a little over 27 minutes - I followed at 29.21 minutes (my first sub-30 5k!). 

We celebrated with our usual Snakebites!

But my weekend of being uncomfortable wasn't over yet.  The next day I joined the TNT group for my first cycling adventure in over a year.  There isn't any other way to describe the experience as other than terrifying.  I didn't put on the clip-in pedals (working my courage up for those) and I rode in the back while I figured out the gears on the new bike (many thanks to Kris Tarase for her generous loaning of bike!!!).  I found that I was okay on the flat stretch, a little tired on the uphill (note to self:  don't run 6 miles two hours before cycling for 2 hours) and practically in tears from my lack of padded shorts! 

But the most uncomfortable, even more terrifying than sharing the streets with cars, was going downhill.  Fear of losing control, of going head-first over the handlebars, of my brakes going out when I needed them, an innocent squirrel getting in my path - there was no end to what I feared.  Many thanks to Coach Mike, Marc and Mike R. for riding with my slow-self and for getting me down the hills without injury. 

Afterwards, the team received the greatest post-ride treat from our teammate Josh.  Josh is an ALL survivor himself and now a pharmacist, he was introduced to a young ALL patient named Buck.  They've grown very close and we were lucky enough to meet Buck and his parents after our ride.  He's adorable and funny and a typical little boy except that he has to go to chemo treatments once a month.  

Talking with my superstar mentor, Cat, as we hung out with Buck, I told her my recent thoughts on uncomfortableness and she brought the lesson home for me by pointing out how lucky I was to get to choose my uncomfortable activity.  I was not forced to go through chemically-laden treatments to save my own life nor do I have to inject my son with steroids at the ripe age of 3 years old.   My choice to be uncomfortable was for a greater cause and personal growth, but it was always my choice.  Lesson learned!

Hopefully the discomfort will ease soon as I gain a little more cycling confidence.  Sharon and I knocked out 10 miles on Friday night, relatively pain-free, and today I am back on the open road with the cycle team still terrified of traffic and too cowardly for the clip-in pedals. 

Give me a boost of confidence and donate now to my Team In Training campaign - it will help!!

Sharon & Stacey after Cupids Cup!

Post Race CarboCelebration!!!

Challenges

When I talk about Team In Training, I always use the word challenge.  You're not just signing up for an event, you're taking on a challenge to complete an endurance event and to help find a cure for cancer.  That word can intimidate some people.  There are people who would rather stay in their routine and go about their daily lives and are perfectly content with that.  And that's perfectly fine.

 I, however, am not one of those people.

I like challenges even when I fall short of them.  Sometimes I take on too many and am overwhelmed.  In the wake of losing my friend Gabby, I was convinced that every goal in my life had to fit into a one year time frame.  There was so much on this earth that she wanted to accomplish and she talked often of reaching her goals even as treatment after treatment failed.  I was inspired but obviously I did not make it to Everest Base Camp or finish my novel within those 12 months of losing her.  From that, I learned to focus and prioritize and I learned to be grateful for every minute that I had in this life to work towards completing my goals. 

So now I'm focused on completing my century ride challenge for Team In Training.  I am inspired by our newest Honored Patient Hero, Danielle Burgess who in 2009 was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia called Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia.  She started treatment the day after she was diagnosed and shed some tears for losing her beautiful, waist-long hair.  Then she decided to take on the challenge of beating this cancer with determination and a positive attitude.  She is responding well to treatment and I can't wait to learn more about this amazing woman. 

For my day to day challenges, right now, it consists of getting a run in this afternoon even though my carbs of choice last night consisted of nachos and Dos Equis (mmmmm).  And having just found out that my friend is not able to loan me a bike as promised, there's the challenge of finding wheels rather quickly.  I'm a little stressed but I know these are small challenges compared to what the 800,000 + blood cancer patients in this country are facing so I'll deal. 

If you're looking for a challenge, there's still time to join the Team- visit http://www.teamintraining.org/ for info!  Or if you'd like to help me complete my goal, visit http://pages.teamintraining.org/nc/ambbr10/ski. 

Thanks for reading!

The Banana Count

So I've been a stranger.  Sorry!  Sharon and I have both been taking it very easy the past couple of weeks - I think we both managed to run ourselves down pretty well so it's time to take a look at what our cross-training is and how we're handling our nutrition and sleep needs.  I know my habits are definitely out of whack so it's time to start looking at my menus and sticking to them. 

Speaking of food, do you ever wonder how many bananas athletes eat?  They're like our superfood and are good quick energy burst providers.  Incidentally, a medium banana has 27 g of carbohydrates. 

 I eat one a day - it adds up.

I realize that as a runner, I should be tracking my miles but I think I'll keep a banana count.  :-)

Go ahead, poke the bear...

Sharon and I rocked our 4-miler today!  We both came to the run very irritated with other people and basically sprinted our anger out in the 1st two miles and then felt so darn good, we ran strong for the last 2. 
The new training plan is now to pick a fight with loved ones and co-workers before our runs - our husbands will be so happy to hear this. 

It was a good run for me also because I've felt those similar aches and pains that accompanied my previous injuries coming back.  Now, thankfully, because I've been a good girl and visited my doctors, I know what to do to help avoid those injuries. 

However, once you've been through an injury, it leaves a little fear in your head.  That gnawing worry that you will be taken off your course again and will not finish the races that you want to finish this year.  My patience might not last another round of physical therapy.

I will work on quieting that fear because I don't want to hold back in my training this year.  I told Justin last week that I will force my body into cooperation with my training goals.  I really am a doctor's worst nightmare. 

Today's carbs - Dixie Chicken Nachos at Thomas Street Tavern!  Just a little hint for any beginners out there - don't eat them two hours before you run.  Maybe there was another reason I ran so fast.....

My apologies to my Midwestern Roots

When I moved to the South oh so many years ago, I laughed at those who shivered when the temperatures dipped below 50.  But I was downright whiny showing up to run my 8 miles with Sharon last Sunday. In my defense, it was 32 degrees.  I spent the rest of the day bundled up in my camping booties (goosedown filled - so wam!) and my Christmas fleece blanket.  Today, I was equally as whiny but thankfully it was only 4 miles and up to 38 degrees. 

But I was still a wimp.....Missouri weather would crush me now.   I hang my head.

FYI, today's carbo load was via Baked Mac n' Cheese made with whole-wheat pasta and a layer of spinach (recipe here)

Here's hoping this weekend's run is a little warmer!